Animal I Have Become
by Lane Render
Summary: "And for the second time in my sixteen years, I felt the earth falling away from me." Davy's already lost so much to the games, so why does it have to be her? Pre-Series Games. OCs.
1. The Reaping

Animal I Have Become

A Hunger Games Fanfiction

By Lane Render

Chapter One

The Reaping

Davy's POV

I woke up in the morning and immediately knew it was not going to be a good day. Not because I woke up cold on the hard dirt floor of my home, that was already a daily occurrence. Not because there was a damp chill to the air, or because I realized that I really shouldn't have missed my shower the night before.

No, it was going to be a bad day because there would be a Reaping.

I stood, stretching my back, wincing as it cracked. I looked over at the bed in the room where my mother lay sleeping. That was all she ever did anymore, when she wasn't yelling at me.

I walked through the open doorway, to the main room, with a table and a small stove. My father was at the table, spooning lumpy oatmeal into his mouth.

"Good morning, Davy. You're up early," he said quietly, so as not to awake the beast a room away.

Yeah, I don't like her much.

"Morning," I mumbled, shuffling over to the tiny, grimy window of our house and peering out. It was still dark outside and there was fog. "I wouldn't call it a good one."

My father stood, placing his bowl in our tiny sink that hardly ever worked, then moving up beside me.

"I know this is supposed to be a family day," I said, "but can I go see Mira and Riley? I don't want to be near _her,_ especially not today…"

My father clapped me on the shoulder. "Of course. I'm going out, I'll take you to Mira's."

We walked out of the house and into the near empty streets of early morning District 12. The damp in the air began to soak into my clothes and my body in just a minute. I pulled the thin cloth of my "coat" tighter around me.

Mira's house was close, not far up the path from my own.

If I was doing bad, she was doing awful. She shared a room with her older brother Josh, who got stuck working endless hours at the mines to get just to get by. Said room included no mattresses, a fire pit in the wall instead of a stove, and a whimsy table with no chairs. They chopped the chairs up during the last winter when they couldn't afford wood. They wouldn't take any help, and even if they would, I couldn't offer them much.

I knocked lightly on the worn down door.

"Coming!" There were footsteps and the door opened to reveal the mahogany haired girl, pale beneath the dirt on her face. "Hi Davy! Hi Mr. Render! Come in!" My dad and I followed her into the room. She approached a lump on the floor and kicked it lightly. "Wake up, Josh."

"Go away," came a response.

"Up!"

Josh sat up slowly, peering up at us. "Hey Davy. Mr. Render." He nodded to us, pushing himself to his feet. "Hungry?"

Looking at his exhausted, thin face and the scarce apartment, I couldn't even imagine taking any food from him. My dad and I both shook our heads.

"I'm heading out to run some errands, since we don't have to go to the mines today. I'll see you later." With that, my father left.

"I'm heading down to Riley's now, anyway," I told them. "You're coming, right?"

Mira looked to Josh who almost immediately reminded her, "You know Reaping days are family time, Mira."

"Well that's fine, Riley's parents invited us all down."

#

We spent the entire day at the Stewarts', talking about complete nonsense, things that were entirely trivial compared to the fact that, by the end of the day, two children were going to be sent off to their deaths.

"Thank you again for inviting us down," Josh said to Riley's mom as he ate the stew she had made.

"Of course, you know how close the kids are, I wouldn't want to separate them today."

"You're the best, Mrs. Stewart," I called from my spot, laying across Riley and Mira. "Why don't I have your mom, Riley?"

He shrugged, poking me in the side repeatedly, until I laughed and squirmed my way right onto the floor.

"That is no fair, using my ticklishness against me like that!"

He stuck his tongue out at me and Mira laughed.

I sighed, making myself comfortable on the floor, leaning back against Riley's legs. He was the best off, of the three of us, with a sturdy table and chairs, a stove, the almost couch that Riley and Mira were sitting on, and a mattress for Riley and for his parents, each.

The biggest sign that he was better off than us was that the both of us lived in the Seam, and he didn't. He lived just outside it. It was funny really, he looked the most like someone from the seam with his jet black hair and steely gray eyes. The olive tone was missing, he was quite pale. I myself was pretty pale, and had green eyes and blonde hair, and so stood out in the Seam.

I closed my eyes, letting out a long breath. "Just let me sleep, and the day will go away."

"Sorry, Davy, that's not how it works," Mira said. "We'll just have to get through the Reaping, it's soon."

I felt a hand on my hair, ruffling it, and I knew it was Riley. He couldn't speak, never could, but he always managed to communicate anyway. He was my best friend since we were three and he anchored me down when I was losing it.

I always started losing it on Reaping days.

#

I moved down the streets of District 12. Riley and Mira on either side of me, each of them holding onto one of my hands.

"Riley," I breathe, "how many times are you in there?"

He opened and closed the hand that wasn't holding mine twice. Ten times.

"You, Mira?"

"Just the four, since stupid Josh won't let me sign up for tessarae," she scowled. It was a constant fight between her and Josh.

"You must be relieved that Josh is done, though."

Ever since Mira's parents had died, her dad in an accident and her mom of pneumonia Josh had been taking tesserae to support them. It would be his first year out of the Reaping.

"I'll be relieved when you aren't in there. How many times have they got you?"

I shrugged. "I lost count." I could feel both of them tense.

Riley looked at me, clearly angry.

"It's not my mom, Riley," I said, knowing his anger was toward her and not me. We'd gone over this hundreds of times. "I choose to do it."

"She pressures you and you listen," Mira said, "because she knows what buttons to push, and it's cruel."

"Let's argue after we're all out of the Reaping," I said, as we approached the Town Square.

"You're right." Mira hugged me tight, then did the same to Riley. "Love you guys, see you later, yeah?" We both smiled at her before separating as she went to the girls area, and Riley and I moved to our spots, Riley in the next row from me, directly behind me.

The speech started and I hardly listened. As the time dragged on, the blood began pounding in my ears louder and louder. I was getting anxious, shifting from foot to foot, my hands getting sweaty.

And then the first name was called and the world fell away from me for the second time in my sixteen years.

"Mira Hinder."

I nearly toppled over. It hit me like a bucket of ice water in my face. Not again, it couldn't happen again. Three years ago a twelve year old girl who had never signed up for tessarae had gotten called up. And it had destroyed me. My baby sister, dear sweet Laney, going to the Hunger Games, and I couldn't even volunteer in her place. And now Mira, Lane's best friend in the world, the girl who had come to Riley and me when we were falling apart, barely even knowing us, and stopped us from falling apart, helping to fill an empty space. She was never a replacement for Lane, but I loved her like a sister.

And now she was going to die, too.

A hand when to my shoulder, firm. I turned my head to see Riley, face dark and intense. We both watched as Mira walked up to the platform, head held high, with determined steps, even as tears poured out of her red eyes, and sobs pushed their way out of her body.

"And now for the male tribute," the woman who at this point I could kill even if it wasn't her fault reached her hand into the glass ball. She unfolded the paper but I wasn't even paying attention. I was becoming numb, my sight unfocusing itself, sound barely reaching my ears, my shoulder losing the feeling of Riley's support.

I didn't even hear it the first time it was called, the name of the male tribute. How could I care at this point about whatever poor soul was going to be sent into the arena?

Riley shook me hard and my sight focused. I couldn't read the look on his face, it was near blank, but he jerked his head toward the platform that held Mira and the stupid Capitol woman.

"David Render, please come to the platform."

My entire body went cold. All the emotions piled on top of each other until I couldn't tell how I felt anymore. Robotically I stepped out of line, and moved toward the platform, the funeral march to my death. One the platform, Mira grabbed my hand. Tears were still running, but the sobs had stopped. I squeezed her hand.

"May the odds be ever in your favor!"


	2. The Capitol

Animal I Have Become

A Hunger Games Fanfiction

By Lane Render

Chapter Two

The Capitol

Mira's POV

I followed behind Lola Callinghan, the Escort for our District, holding onto Davy's arm. My tears had dried on the stage and now I walked steadily, with some effort. All I could think was that Lane walked this track before, this march to the death. What was she thinking, then, when she had to walk the same streets to the station? When she had to stand and wait in the pressing silence for her family to be brought in? I at least had Davy next to me, Lane hadn't known the boy with her.

As they left to get our family I looked to Davy. He stared straight at the door as it shut, a blank expression on his face, like he was entirely gone from his body.

"Davy," my voice shook on his name and I took a moment before I tried again, "We have to be calm, Davy. Lane was calm."

"I am calm," he told me in a hollow voice.

"Calm and _human_." I winced as my voice came out more harshly than I meant for it to.

He finally turned to me and for a moment, I saw the helplessness and pain flash through his eyes, before they went cold and sharp. "What do you want from me?"

I opened my mouth; to say what, I don't know. I wanted to yell at him and hit him for shutting down like this, I wanted to cry and throw myself into his arms and be comforted, I wanted him to just give me one of those wry smiles he has when he knows that there's some trouble and tell me it would all be okay.

What I didn't want was this thing beside me. I felt like I was losing Davy, and the Games hadn't even started yet.

But nothing happened and we stood in a heavy silence until Lola came back. Behind her was Jake. I ran into his arms, which tightened firmly around me. It was the same firm hold he had on me during those nights just after my parents had died.

I vaguely noticed Davy's father coming in and wrapping his arms around Davy. It was kind of big, really; Davy's dad was never all that touchy-feely and had become even less so after Lane's death.

I pulled back from Jake. "What do I do, Jake?"

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly before saying, "Survive, do your best. And get away from Davy before the Tribute number gets too low."

I shivered at the idea of the Games coming down to just the two of us. "Yeah, I'll do it. I'll try to come home."

"Whatever happens, I'll be proud, because I see you now going in there with a level head." He placed his hand on my head and ruffled my hair a bit. "Just don't let those Games change you."

"I won't," I promised him, and myself, too.

A slight smile came to his face. "I know. You're too stubborn for that."

"Shut up."

The door opened again and this time Riley walked in. Davy and I both moved away from our current visitors and toward him. For a moment, the three of us just stared at each other, Riley's eyes flicking from me to Davy. Then I flung my arms around Riley and gave him a kiss on the cheek before backing off to allow the boys their moment.

Those two always had something I didn't quite understand. They knew each other in a way that could only develop from knowing each other so long, without being able to communicate vocally. Somehow along the way they'd learned how to interpret everything about each other, every movement and facial expression, specific to any situation. It was unique.

I always knew I would never quite be as close to those two as they were to each other. Our friendship hadn't even started until Lane left. I hadn't known where to go, who would understand me. Not even Jake could do that. And so I went to Davy, her brother, and Riley, who could have been the same.

Lucky we got along well, really. I wouldn't have lasted if we hadn't.

"Riley..." Davy's voice was quiet and raw. Riley held his hand out and Davy took it. Riley gave it three shakes before they bent there arms up and brought each other in, going through the motions of the overcomplicated handshake they made up years ago, back when Lane was my best friend and Davy was the icky older boy who Lane looked up to so much for who knows what reason, and Riley was just kind of odd.

They ended with a spin and a double high five.

A weak smile came to Davy's face and he said, "Don't worry, we'll be okay." He turned to me. "We'll be fine."

#

I woke up for the first time in my life in a soft warm bed. It was disorientating actually, to have that. It took me a moment to come out of sleep enough to realize exactly why I as comfortable; I was on a train heading to the slaughter and so I got something nice until then. It was like the Capitol saying "Oops, sorry about the impending doom, here's a bed."

I was torn between deciding to never leave the room and wanting to get away from the false kindness in the luxury as soon as possible. I finally decided that I had to get myself out of bed and into the bathroom.

It was tiny, but that was to be expected, considering that I was on a train, but it better than the iron tub Jake and I had, by far. I got into the shower and turned it on. The water was brilliant, heavenly, and I stayed in there until I was a prune. Might as well enjoy it, while it lasted.

Eventually I got out and grabbed the first thing out of a closet in the wall, filled with clothes. It turned out to be a rich green summer dress, something you wouldn't see back home.

Once it was on I left the room and made my way to the dining car, following my nose.

I entered, finding a table with plates piled high with foods I couldn't name but knew were phenomenal, simply by the smell. Our mentor, a woman named Rye, definitely originally from the Seam by the look of her, was talking with Lola. I sat down next to Davy who was shoveling food into his mouth at the other end of the table.

"Hungry?" I asked.

He swallowed. "I'm a growing boy and I'm going to need my strength. And it's really good." He grinned. There was something missing in it, but I was still relieved.

I laughed a little. "Feeling better?"

He shrugged. "It was shock last night, I'm dealing."

For a short time I thought I might have Davy back. But then we drove into the Capitol and as awed as we both were by the sites, all warmth was sucked from the cabin.

#

Lavi's POV

"This city is really beautiful, huh?" I looked to Amy who was curled up in a chair staring down at her fingernails.

"Yeah, sure." She didn't even look up.

I sighed. I supposed it was good thing she wasn't a great friend. I wouldn't be turning on her, if it came down to me having to kill her. Better even that she was entirely disinterested in this whole deal. Still, it was odd and it grated on me in a way I couldn't quite explain.

"Why are you even here, then, if you don't care, why not let a Career take your place?" I questioned.

She glanced up at me through thick eyelashes. "I think turning it down is shameful, even with others volunteering. I don't have a proper excuse, like sickness, or being 12, or family that needs me, and so I will go."

I blinked a couple times, surprised. They were more words than she'd said to me since the Reaping, and they were enough to raise my respect for her. "Well," I asked, "aren't you wondering why I'm here?"

"Don't care," she went back to her fingernails.

Yeah, I was definitely going to be alone in the arena.

I went back to looking out the window. The Capitol was just that one step up from District One, more color. And modifications, too. Only people really high up in the District, like Amy, whose family had a lot of money, had modifications.

I thought of my at work, waiting for tonight, to see me riding on a chariot all dressed up in the crazy Capitol stylist's clothes. I elt a twinge guilt. They'd been calm when they'd last seen me, and they'd accepted decision. They'd always been that way. But still, the Games were every parents worst nightmare for their child, except maybe the Careers', and here I was, not a Career and willfully going into the Games.

The train came to a halt and Gem, one of our two mentors who would actually be working face to face with us, said, "Welcome to the training tower."

#

The room was beautiful, really. Spacious and ornate, carved wood paneling on the walls and plush carpet underfoot. I made my way to the huge bed in the middle of the room. I hadn't slept well on the train; I was dead tired. I fell into the bed and closed my eyes, sinking into the soft bedding. I had only a moment to relax before Gem was in the room.

"Up, kid. We've gotta get you to the stylist."

"Stylist." I weighed the word in my mouth. Completely unreal, all of it.

"Yes, stylist. He's going to make you look pretty so you can get sponsors. Normally it's not a problem, but you are no Career," he looked at me sharply, "I sure hope you intend on winning."

"Well, I don't intend on dying."

He nodded, leading me along. "Survival instincts can get you far. And you do have one other thing going for you."

"What's that?"

"A non-Careeer District One Tribute is such a novelty."

#

I enjoyed the first half hour of the primping. After that, I became sick of it. I was entirely ready for killing by the time the team had run off, leaving me alone in the middle of the room, naked.

After a minute of waiting that felt nearly endless, a tall man with dark hair and teal skin modification walked in. He looked me over for a second before saying, "Really, they didn't give you anything?" He marched across the room to a closet paneled directly into the wall and nearly undetectable, and pulled out a bathrobe, which he tossed to me. It was white and ridiculously fluffy, and I happily put it on.

He came up closer, appraising me. "Your name is Lavi, yes?" I nodded. "Good to meet you, my name is Lynx. You're not a career, correct?"

"Yeah, that's right." I responded.

"Hm. Still, you've got a good build and nice facial structure. Bright eyes, too. Lets see... yes, I think I can do you up and get quite a few sponsors. I won't have to do anything too...uncomfortable for you."

Hearing that relieved me. I never thought I was much special, but I had been told a few times that I was at least fairly attractive. I'd seen the sex appeal played up before, and I was glad I didn't have to do that. I hadn't even known I was worried about it until Lynx had told me I didn't have to.

He took a step back and clapped his hands together. "Right, one more thing, then. Are there any requests you would like to put in?"

"Huh?"

"I mean appearance-wise. I can't do anything too flashy of course, but considering...well I would like to offer it."

A wave of gratitude washed over me, that a Capitol man like this would make such a gesture of kindness.

I smiled. "You know, cherry red sounds nice. The brown hair is getting boring."

#

Davy's POV

Mira and I stood waiting to be directed. One glance at her and I knew she was near tears. She kept them in though, her angry misery seething from her without crying to go along with it.

Our stylist, who was a butt by the way, decided that he was going to play up the fact that we were both somewhat attractive, and he spread a black dust make up over both our bodies because "highlighting what's there is best." Over our...delicate areas were shiny black pieces shaped like coal and just barely covering. I didn't care. I was mostly upset because the near-white risen scars on my arms were somehow highlighted perfectly, standing out against the black dust. It was on purpose of course because "scars are good, they're a sign of survival."

I refused to succumb to it, after my intense reaction to being a Tribute. I took Mira's hand in my own. "Sorry about yesterday, really, Mira."

"Don't be."

I flashed her a bright smile. "I'm dealing now. I'll be strong for us."

"How are you so calm?" Mira asked. "How are you not in a rage?"

"Because it could work. It could help us survive. I will not let the Capitol shame me with what I have to do to survive."

"Admirable." Mira and I turned to the source of the voice, a boy with bright blue eyes and red hair, laced with sparkling gems. He wore thin material over his body that clung to him, sparkling as he moved. "Sorry for interrupting. Sorry for your stylist, too, while I'm apologizing."

"And our District, don't forget our District," Mira muttered.

The boy made a sympathetic expression. "That too. Anyway have you seen a small thin girl with pale pink hair? She went off and left me behind."

"No, have you, Davy?" Mira looked to me.

"No, sorry," I told the boy. "Is she the other Tribute from your district?"

"Yeah," he responded, looking around for her.

"District...One, would it be?"

He turned to me and smiled, "Yeah, that's us."

"Odd, you don't seem like a Career." He was bright and friendly, somehow, even in this situation. He had a very light way about the way he moved and his muscles were too lean for a Career.

"I'm not," he said. "Unfortunate, really, that my name came out. Those guys take a whole ton of tesserae to get in, because if you get chosen, you go unless you _accept_ a volunteer. But nope, I came out of the bowl."

I opened my mouth to ask exactly why he would go, if he didn't want to, but a girl was calling. "C'mon, Lavi, get over here."

"Well see ya." He ran over to her.

"Well. He was odd," Mira commented.

"But friendly," I added.

Nate's POV

"What if I just kill myself?"

I jumped at the unexpected words that came from my fellow Tribute's mouth. I looked over at the girl with her cropped blonde hair and tried to remember when I had last heard her speak. I couldn't recall. "Um, then I suppose you would be dead," I stated rather stupidly, offering her a hand to help her into the chariot.

She ignored my hand, climbing up on her own. "But what do you suppose the Capitol would do?"

I thought for a moment before telling her, "This early on, they might just get a new Tribute. If you don't want to be here then why didn't accept a volunteer?"

"I don't care much for my own life and this way, someone else doesn't have to die."

Holy hell, she was suicidal. How are you even supposed to respond to something like that?

"Why did you come? You're no Career, you're a smart one. You could go places, in our District," she pointed out. She was right. In District Three, brains could do a lot for me.

I thought back to the Reaping, just the previous day. I thought back to the hands that went up all around me, ready to take my place. I remember glancing into the crowd and locking blue eyes with a matching pair. "I couldn't shame my father like that. I have to at least try."

Ally scoffed. "If you're only living for others then there's no point. Do me a favor, Nate."

"What's that?" I questioned, finding myself curious as to what the next thing out of his mouth.

"If it gets too bad in there, kill me."

I was speechless, I couldn't think of how to respond. I could barely, just barely accept killing in self defense. But helping with the girl's death wish? "I… I'll think about it."

She nodded. "Okay."

Suddenly, the chariot lurched forward. We were brought out to blinding lights and deafening cheers. All around us was a sea of bright colors. Capitol people in their crazy clothing, with their insane modifications. I began to feel dizzy, and I braced my hand on the side of the chariot.

"If you plan on living," Ally said to me, "you ought to smile."

Gathering myself, I did my best to seem charismatic.

Right. Me, charismatic.


End file.
